Right about now

Today was a complete crashdown. Martha, who I met about a year ago around this time, was right. I have a strong sense of abandonment, and most of the time, I trigger it myself. I was driving in today and just felt like crap. Like nobody was around, everyone else had something to do and someone to do it with, and I'm just... here.

Yes, yes, I know, it's just because Penny is in Arizona and Mary is too busy to talk much, and everyone else is busy, but logic doesn't really work here. It's illogical, and I know it is, but I feel like crap anyway.

It's as if I'm waiting for some big event to break me out of a sort of doldrums. I've felt sessile since screwing up my ankle, at the same time when there are many other things I need to be doing and feel like I can't, lest I screw it up again.

You people in wheelchairs are laughing right about now.