All... wound... UP???

Time has gone into turbo mode. It's been a month since I nailed a deer at high speed and destroyed my favorite Saab. It's been around six months since I've had sex. It's been over a year since I was in a relationship that really, really got to my core.

It's been eleven years since I got engaged to my now-ex-wife.

It's been 24 years since I got fired for being five minutes late to my job in college.

It's been almost 37 years since my mother was killed.

All this shit happened last week, man... I am sure. It sure feels like it.

I had horrendous, horrendous dreams last night that kept me up half the night trying not to fall back asleep. In one of them, a young guy got his head run over by a truck on the New Jersey Turnpike. I have no idea where that one came from... another one involved me driving a rather fast car (I want to say, "Porsche Carrera") off a tall parking ramp into the sea. No idea where that one comes from, either.

In any case, I went to sleep at 10:45, was up at 1am, again at 4:15, again at 5, and then slept until 9:45.

I think it's time for some chemical assistance... has anyone tried that new thing, Lunesta? I've considered sleep aids before, but I really, really have been wary about their tendency to be habit-forming. Damn if I'm gonna be like Elvis or Judy Garland or something... take a pill to sleep, take one to wake up.

But this sleep stuff is seriously fucking up my life. It's 5:00 in the afternoon, and I could go to sleep right now.

I need sex. I used to sleep better when I had reasonably-regular sex.

Yeah, that's it.