To the moon

36 years ago today, my father made us all come down and watch the landing on the Moon. He had a pretty good sense for when it was time to force us to watch or do things that we'd remember later. About the same time in history, there was a major solar eclipse (the first one I remember but not the last one I witnessed) , and he set up his old Beseler camera up with a filter and a tripod, and we looked through it as the sun got really, really strange.

So, we watched Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin wander around on the moon.

And it was good. I remembered the Apollo 8 mission, the one where they were in orbit at Christmas. I don't recall the sense of urgency about Apollo 13 that people talked about later... maybe I was an engineer even then and just knew they'd figure a way out of the mess.

The next event my father made us watch, Richard Nixon had no good way out of. He resigned, and we watched it.

I have been talking to Sarah again. And no, it wasn't just because I've been feeling alone, though I won't say that had no role in it.

Basically, I went back to the roots, and realized that of the three big things I knew I needed, Sarah really, really was all three. She was honest with herself and with me (not necessarily perfectly, but damn close), she's forgiving and can accept forgiveness, and she really wanted to be with me. More than I thought, really. All of this counts for a lot, and given enough reasons, I always come around.

It's not like we're back together or anything... for one thing, she's on vacation for the next week or so, somewhere in the Caribbean. And even then, I still would like to see Martha... she and I have been talking and emailing a lot, and regardless of what else happens, there's an ease and comfort between us that would point us toward being good friends.

I like that feeling.

While I was in New York, I had a dream that was so good that I stayed asleep an extra two hours to indulge in the dream. I know how to do that... stay asleep and stay in a really good dream or wake up to get out of a bad one. This one was excellent... I met someone I felt really comfortable and with whom I really felt loved. It was a tremendously addictive feeling.

Just try translating that to the waking life. I might as well flap my arms and fly to the moon.