My opinion on shoes

Who thinks up the chunky, awful-looking crap that pass for women's shoes these days? Guy's shoes haven't changed much since My Three Sons, but for some reason, somebody actually consciously decided that women ought to actually strap these chunks of lumber or injection-molded plastic to their feet and somehow expect not to get laughed at.

Come on, women... this stuff sucks. Do you really WANT to wear shit that makes you look like Lurch, from The Addams Family? Can you really walk safely in those things? And who, exactly, do you think you're impressing? You look like retards.

No offense to any actual retards who may be reading this page.

What happened to elegance? Nice, pleasant, well-make shoes that were primarily for protecting one's feet from bottle caps and dogshit, and not primarily to break your ankles? I'm not talking runway-model heels and stuff here, but just simple elegance. What happened to it? Did it disappear along with the Clinton Administration, replaced by overpriced, ugly bullshit that you will be ashamed to even try to sell at your mom's garage sale in a year and a half?

I have to say, one thing I like about Penny is that she has actually very few clunky, stupid-looking shoes. At the other end of the spectrum, she also doesn't have any of those porn-star clear lucite platform sandals that somebody decided that guys want to see on their porn stars. I don't. I'll be the first to vote to recall that particular marketing manager.

And sure, if your work involves walking across newly-crusted lava flows in Hawaii, sure, put the pumps away and get some insulated boots. But you wouldn't believe the stupid-looking crap I saw people wearing the last time I went to the theatre (for example) or a concert. Young girls in particular. They looked like retarded hookers.

No offense to any actual retarded hookers who might be reading this page.

Bring back the nice, sensible-looking shoes, and get rid of this shit that looks like leftover props from Aliens.

That is all.