The honorable me

I am the world's biggest pussy.

I went and picked up my tux tonight.

Miranda called me this morning and said she was "going to be in gray."

I love women in gray.

I will vacuum the Volkswagen.

I will go.

I will look terrific.

I will be genial, make good conversation, be considerate and gentlemanly.

I will get a chaste kiss at midnight (picture June Allyson and James Stewart in The Glenn Miller Story).

I will have served my purpose.

I'll go home alone, take off the tux in the driveway so I don't get cat hair on it, go in, turn the heat up, pile cats on me, and think of better days.

All week I've been emailing with a woman who sets my heart on its end like no woman since Melody... but she is dead-set on having babies.

2006 cannot come soon enough. 2005 is over.