Another level

This is typical of my life. I go for years, even decades, being with people who, to some extent, have been bad compromises between what I know I need and want and what I seem to be able to find, and then, without much warning, I find two women in my life who are both amazing and transcendent, but in completely different ways. And I can't, and don't want to be made to, choose between them.

Penny and I went to dinner in Frederick (nothing special... Cracker Barrel, better known as Crapper Barrel), then went to see Seabiscuit, the film based on Laura Hillenbrand's excellent non-fiction best-seller (which I read a few months ago). It was terrific, and talking with and being with Penny was also amazing. Lately, every time we're together, we seem to reach a new level of insight with each other, a new way to be open and honest. And, the sex gets ever better, if that's possible (which it is).

But that didn't prepare me for the time I spent with Mary. Penny had a date with one of her other ad-people on Saturday night, so I went to a theatre production with Mary at the same place she's been in shows. The musical was great, it was nice to see her friends, and the drive there was pleasant... we listened to a CD compilation I burned for her before I went to pick her up.

The evening started on its way to transcendence after that. On our drive back to Mary's, we talked a little, touched each other almost constantly, and listened to more music. Mary is incredibly sensitive and reacts to even the gentlest touch, and by the time we got back to her house, she was practically humming. We lay on her bed, talking and touching, and then like a spark, we were all over each other.

I"m not going to go into all the details, because honestly, I don't remember them, but the night never seemed to end, we made love for hours and it was possibly the most amazing tactile connection I have ever known with anyone. We were reading each other's minds, responding to even the most imperceptible touches and sensations. We finally fell asleep at probably 3:00am, then woke each other up at 7:30 again and started all over again, no sign of either of us wearing out.

Where the hell did that come from? How can some women be like this, and others seem to be afraid of their own bodies and nerves? How can some couples tune in to each other so finely, so (almost) violently, and others don't touch each other for months or even years?

I ask these questions having been on both sides of this. My ex-wife was an adequate if formulaic lover, and for almost a year toward the end of our marriage, we slept with each other but didn't have sex. I'm not really any different... was it all about her? I am certain that what happens with Penny and Mary is beyond being a fluke. But I can't explain how.

I am puzzled.