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The weightJune 10, 2005 - 4:45 p.m.
Instead of adding a new episode of my podcast, I went out singing last night. A woman I used to date and I have gotten together to do karaoke a few times in recent months... she's a pretty good person to talk to and she always has fun singing. I did a couple of songs and we talked a lot... I ended up not getting home until 1:30 and the prospect of sitting in front of a microphone in the warm and humid downstairs of my house at 2:00am wasn't all that appealing at the time, so I went to sleep. Since ending things with Sarah, I feel somewhat freer. I realized that driving to work today... I realized that I had no worry about whether she would be upset she couldn't reach me on wireless, or that I hadn't emailed her back enough times, or any of that. Nobody to answer to, nobody to worry about, nobody worrying about me. I realized I'd felt a sort of "weight" related to these things since I'd started dating Sarah, and it's all gone now. Maybe another part of my ideal person is that those factors, those feelings never arise in the first place. My guess is, this is what Melody was trying to explain to me about me.
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