Mom's network, and I visit another planet

Long weekends are an interesting litmus test when you're getting to know someone. Spending three days in a row with them, but not out traveling, is sort of a useful look into how they live their lives every day, and if you pay attention, you can learn lots about them.

Sarah seems to have an aversion to soaking pans in the sink, which I do mostly because it helps clean the crud off them. In the strangest example, she put a baking pan that had been used for chicken marsala on the top shelf of the refrigerator, rather than in the sink. When I went to put it in the sink, so the baked-on stuff would cease the process of fossilization, she said, "no, I don't want bugs."

Apparently she figures that insects of some sort will commit suicide in soapy water at the chance for some baked-on marsala sauce and a small fragment of mushroom. Whatever. Her house, her rules.

Another oddity: she seems to want to steam everything. Well, everything in the way of clothing. The other day she asked me to give her the shirt I was about to put on. "No," I said. "People expect me to be sort of wrinkled, and realistically, as soon as I put it on, it'll wrinkle anyway." Everything she puts on seems to wrinkle pretty quickly, as well.

She has a lot of clothes that no longer fit her, since she lost quite a bit of weight. She also has a surplus of those shorts-that-are-supposed-to-look-like-a-skirt.

I fucking hate those things!

I mean, the clothes are lying to you, man! They look like one thing, but are something else. Skirts are skirts, shorts are shorts, "skorts" belong on some other planet, the Planet of Deceitful Attire. And then, we should send missiles to that planet.

Also to be shipped to that planet: dresses that look like separates, and separates that are supposed to look like dresses. And pantyhose with fake seams on them.

Anyway, Sarah keeps making small mumblings that make me think she needs constant reassurance about the status of our relationship. I don't know about you, but on behalf of guys everywhere -- I group I rarely claim to represent or even identify with all that much -- I can state that guys tend to operate on the "what's the last thing you heard" syndrome, where if they told you two weeks ago everything was fine, and nothing has happened or been said that should make you question that anything has changed, well... why are you asking?

"Is it soup yet?"

Fuck, yeah, it was soup the last time you asked, doof!

/end of my speaking on behalf of guys

My own reaction when someone seems to need constant reassurance is that it's a matter of lack of self-confidence, not a lack of confidence in the relationship or the other person.

Lack of self-confidence is extremely unattractive. At least to me. I'll leave the timid girls for the timid guys. I want somebody who basically believes the news and continues to believe it until they get a new report that convinces them they shouldn't. Otherwise your relationship ends up like that old piece on NBC's Saturday Night: "General Francisco Franco is still dead!"

I don't really care for that.

Another thing I am puzzled by: she has extremely few spices, though she does cook well. I was making catfish the other night and ended up needing to retrieve powdered cayenne pepper, which I figured would a staple in the house of a woman who seems to like spicy things. No big deal, but just something I noticed, I supposed.

I did have a good time with the iBook on Sunday... went out on her balcony and sniffed out not one but TWELVE wireless hotspots in the apartment complex in which she lives, using a tool called KisMAC (there's a tool called Kismet for Windows and Linux, but you pudknockers can go Google it your ownselves). I probably could have found dozens more, since this is a moderately-upscale complex in an overbuilt county in suburban Virginia, where people have more money than brains.

Alas, a few of the more interesting ones were WEP-protected and the Airport Extreme adapter in the iBook cannot be made to work in the driver mode required to properly crack WEP. Still, it was amusing borrowing bandwidth from "Mom's Network" and "LisaLand." If I decide to download tons of porn or something, I'll be sure to do it on "Mom's network." Hey, you have to be sure Mom approves, right?