People In Hell Want Icewater
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Yes, I talked some more


June 24, 2008 - 10:31 a.m.

I wasn't sure I'd write here again, but a couple of things occurred to me that I might want to put here.

I was watching In The Shadow Of The Moon, a documentary on the Discovery Channel about the manned missions that culminated in Apollo and the Moon landings in the 1960s and 1970s. What really got to me was that everyone they interviewed in the film -- the astronauts and ground crews -- were really old men now, and they likely won't live to see us go back there.

Or anywhere else fun. Now, space is just a big white SUV and a flying recreational vehicle with a busted toilet.

George Carlin died Sunday. I can't think of anybody else of his time that had quite the same effect on people my age, the idea that it could be OK to say "fuck" and that language wasn't, in and of itself, "bad." There are no bad words, just bad intentions.

Some peeves I remembered:

I hate it when people put up garage sale signs all over the place, there's no address on them, and then they don't take them down after their sale, so that two weeks later, you're following them thinking you'll score an old lawn mower or some piece of art with Elvis on black velvet or something, and then the signs just peter out at some intersection in the middle of nowhere. If you're going to have a garage sale, your signs should at least have the dates of the sale on it, preferably the address too, and ideally, you should go out and take them all down afterward.

I can't stand it when people "flare" out to one side when they're making a turn. They sort of edge over into the left or middle lane and then turn right, as if their Corolla is so fucking long they need to "lead" the corner like it's a tractor-trailer or something. Stay in your goddamn lane.

Twitterspammers suck ass.

People who send you an email, then immediately run down the hall to "see if you got it" and then take that opportunity to interrupt what you're doing to tell you, in effect, the entire contents of the email they just sent you, suck ass.

Some sites devoted to Blackberry look like crap... on an actual Blackberry.

Drive-thru droids who don't actually listen to your order because they're so busy "suggestive selling" you shit you don't want, and then they have to ask you to repeat your entire order, suck. If, during your repeat, they interrupt you AGAIN to ask you about the same shit you don't want, they should have their hand stuck in the deep-fryer for a few minutes, because they're too stupid to be anything but a food source for other, smarter humans or animals, and we like things crispy.

Verizon's online site is terrible and it is basically unusable from any of their phones. And even though their system runs 24 hours a day, the business office for their landlines is still only open till 5, weekdays only. Welcome to 1959, Verizon!


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