Depressive pain in the ass job

I'm in the middle of a pretty bad depressive episode. Part of it is driven by stress, both from work and elsewhere, but the bigger part of it seems to be just one of those cyclic things I've dealt with for 35 years, where the depression isn't "caused" by anything, it just occurs.

I'll try increasing my antidepressant dose a little and see how that works. I've been at the same low dose since 2002 and never felt the need to increase it before, but I feel grumpy and detached enough lately (and disinterested in things) that it's probably time for a tweak.

Work is both interesting and a pain in the ass... interesting for the things we've been able to get done lately and a pain in the ass for the stupid organizational game-playing certain people around here are indulging in. It's pretty distressing for all of us to see what has for years been a very capable technical organization get frittered apart by new, largely nontechnical management who want to use us as pawns in some dumb game.

I want to tell them all, "look, you cannot get promoted to President of The United States through this job, so give it up."

Or at least just tell them to leave us the fuck alone and let us do what we do best.

Everyone seems to be looking for other jobs, and a fair number of them may just retire. A bunch already have, both other jobs and retirement.

The thing I notice about people who retire out of this place is, when I run into them elsewhere a few months later, how cheerful they look. One woman who retired last year came back for a retirement party for someone else. I ran into her in the hall and didn't recognize her. She had lost probably 100 pounds and looked great.