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Flaming about marketing


May 20, 2007 - 12:02 a.m.

Today would have been my twelfth anniversary with Nancy. Instead, I spent it with my future wife, planting things, cooking things, talking to wabbits, and talking about how we both got here. One year from Thursday, we're getting married. I guess that's what one talks about.

I am very proud of her... Suzanne has done a really nice layout of the room above the kitchen, the sort of place I'd like to spend time (except for the fact that the wireless signal over there would suck ass and there are no electrical outlets). She even lined up several dozen of my hundreds of books on IKEA shelves she had at her place in New Jersey. She's asleep right now, but I may actually wake her up and tell her how pleased I am with what she's done over there. Those two rooms over the kitchen, which date to 1840, have defied any attempts I've ever made to use them for anything other than storing crates of crap I can't find another location to clog up with.

Sorry, Mr. Rehor, I let that sentence get out of control. I graduated high school anyway. And then you died. That happens

WalRusMart has apparently decided that it's too late for anyone to consider planting fruit trees or strawberries, for these two items have disappeared from their store here. Fuckwads. Let's all live our lives according to the schedule dictated by WalRusMart's distribution patterns. Want a pair of wool socks in June? Eat shit, you should have bought those last August, when we put our winter stuff out. Don't want to trip over Christmas shit in October? Fuck you, you should have bought your Halloween stuff in July, when we put it out. Want to buy flip-flops in January, because you're going to Florida on vacation? Fuck you, you should have bought them last March when we told you to.

The worst part of WalRusMart is the incredibly short memory of the staff. If you see something today, buy it today, because if you come back in a week, it'll be gone, and in two weeks, no one there will ever remember that it ever existed on the Earth.

So, they have decreed I shall not have more peach trees nor strawberry bushes. For WalRusMart, it's time to buy wading pools and fireworks. In six weeks, it will be time to buy "back to school" shit, never mind that I haven't gone "back to school" in more than 25 years and school doesn't start until August. Then the Halloween shit will be out for two weeks (cue the Spiderman/3 machine) and after that, the Christmas shit comes out.

I say there's an enormous market out there for people who want to buy stuff when we need and want it, not when Arkanfucks want to sell it to us.

Are you from Arkansas? Shut up, you're part of the problem.


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