"Oh, no, it's not going to be another Viet Nam."

I admit it... I am having a hard time getting enthused about seeing Suzanne this weekend. A big part of the problem is that she's doing a 24-hour on-call rotation at the hospital, which means she won't be home until 8:30 on Saturday morning.

It sounds like a small thing, but if I wanted to sit around, have snacks and watch television in the presence of small household animals, I could stay home. I am really, really trying to stay enthusiastic, even as I know this whole situation won't change until late February. Thanksgiving is screwed up (she has to work). Christmas and New Year's are screwed up (she has to work). She won't be able to go to even a day of Lotusphere with me next January (she has to work).

I've told her that if I knew this is how long this would have taken, I wouldn't have answered her optimistic-about-getting-a-job-near-DC profile on Match last spring. Sounds shallow, but it's true, and I'm not about to lie to her and tell her that it makes it all right. If she had said up front, "I won't be anywhere near DC for nine months, and I will have a weird-ass schedule that will screw up all the holidays," I'd have said, "email me when you get here, and until then, I can be found dating more local people."

I said that, and several people have strongly encouraged me to re-read the shit I wrote here last spring. Yeah, yeah.

All I see right now is an insane amount of miles on my car, a lot of money leaving my checking account, and I am no closer to having someone living with me than I was four years ago. All I can see is another four months of this stuff, and endless opportunities for something to go wrong and make these last five months a complete waste of time.

If that happens, I have no idea how I'll react, but I am not guessing it would be pleasant to see. However, I don't really think it'll happen.

I just worry.

On another note, today, Bush admitted that he is a complete fuckup and incompetent.

But you knew that.