Knee-highs suck

August 28, 2006 - 11:10 p.m.

A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Ladies, please throw away all of your knee-highs. There is no circumstance under which you will not look like an old lady. No skirt is long enough, and if you're wearing pants, guys will find out when you take them off.

Thigh-highs are sexy as hell. Knee-highs scream "I SHOP AT WALRUSMART."

Thank you.

I got Suzanne a phone tonight. She was one of those former-old AT&T-customers who have been pissed off since the Cingular took over. They've basically said, "you can't keep your old pay-as-you-go plan, and we don't support that phone you've had, here's what it'll cost to continue the privilege of doing business with us." Enormous sums.

Anyway, her phone went dead this morning, so I added her to my T-Mobile plan. Twenty bucks extra a month, and she and I can talk to each other all we want. And she gets a new Motorola phone which doesn't need a stupid proprietary charger.

Bye, Cingular.

I am so tired today. She absolutely wore my ass out last night after we got home. If it hadn't rained a little just before we got home, I'd have nailed her up against the trunk of her Impala. Still, I thought was going to have a stroke later. We slept well, and then she got up and drove home through the rain in a car that really doesn't handle the rain well.

My red Passat is a great rain car. And it has lots of interior lights.

We are going to see Avenue Q on Broadway next weekend for my berfday. She wants to wear this long black dress with red embroidery on it, so I figure this is the perfect time. I just have to find her sheer black thigh-highs to go with it.

NOT knee-highs.

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