I went down to the crossroads

I am not sure that I didn't lose a friend tonight.

And yes, it was about Suzanne.

I am sad.

And yet I love Suzanne dearly, not just for the things I know of her, but also for things neither of us know about each other.

I know me. I am fierce. I am a fierce defender of, well, me, but also of the people I care about.

What happens when some people you care about bring out that instinct in you relative to people you care about... more?

I am getting old. I know me, I know what I need and want. And when someone comes over that threshold into the realm of People I Care About, I will defend them to almost any extent.

This friend in question... I'd have done anything I could have done to make her life better.

But Suzanne... she already makes my life better and she has made my life truly wonderful. So soon and so intensely that I can't believe it.

She is on "this side" of my defense instinct. I can feel my teeth out. I'd do anything to defend her, and "anything" covers a lot of ground with me. I'm smart, I'm tough, I'm fast, I'm capable.

But what happens when you arrive at that crossroads, where one road says, "defend your friends," and the other says, "defend the love of your life?"

Maybe I understand Penny a little more.