My motherfucking ass!

Most women seem to naturally take the time and effort to dress nicely, pick an attractive spot and send in pictures that are clear and flattering. Make sure that you look healthy and happy in your photo. With the advent of digital and disposable cameras it is too easy to take a few minutes and create a great picture. eHarmony men rarely make appearance their top priority, but having a friendly, attractive photo only helps.

- from the EHarmony Newsletter

In my extensive experience -- and I assure you, I have been on more first dates than that disturbing old trout, Dr. Neil Clark Warren -- most women seem to naturally act like they don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, and about half of them show up for first dates looking like they either just came from, or are on their way to, Home Depot. They act militant when they sense you actually expect them to dress nicely. Their pictures are tragicomic melange of bad office party pictures, pictures from other people's weddings, pictures taken in bright sun from so far away you can't tell what shape their head is, and pictures jammed with dogs, children and dogs. And dogs. They don't bother to make sure they look either healthy or happy, counting as they seem to on the fact that just because they have concave genitalia, some sap will write.

And with the "advent of digital and disposable cameras, it is too easy" to take absolutely shitty pictures and stop there.

On the other side of things, if "eHarmony men rarely make appearance their top priority," I submit that "eHarmony men" are a bunch of pussy-whipped eunuchs who've been beaten into the ground by women with unrealistic expectations and a lot of buzzwords from their college-freshmen Intro To Philosophy or Women's Studies classes.

Eat it, Neil Clark Warren. I bet you're actually a podiatrist.