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Emotional arson


March 05, 2006 - 4:22 p.m.

If someone sets fire to your house, is it your fault because your house and its content is flammable, or is it their fault for setting it afire?

My house is stone, so it's not like I need to worry about it burning down.

I've been thinking about the idea of anger, and more pointedly, about the concept of "anger management." It seems like every time you turn around, someone is talking about someone else who has "issues with anger" or "needs to learn to manage anger."

As I said once to Melody when we were together, and then again later when dealing with Avery, the guy in my barn last year, it's funny how, when you do things to make someone angry, people act surprised when that person actually gets angry!

I've been thinking about that with me. I feel angry a lot of the time now. Not raging, red-eyed, tear-this-place-up angry, but that sort of low-grade, corrosive upset that rides a tandem emotional bike with its close pal, sorrow. When you've been through as many indifferent rejections, lighthearted cruelties and casual hurts as I've been over the last few years, dating back to my divorce, I think of anger as a natural response to pain, and think that at the end of the day, the solution isn't for me to "manage anger."

Isn't the real solution for other people to stop being cold, cruel and hurtful?

My house is stone.

My heart isn't.

Yet.


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