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Going home to check the roof


February 16, 2006 - 12:22 a.m.

Well, I went and did it. Though I've counseled people for years to avoid revisiting the past, I met Sarah for dinner down near her house tonight after work. It was actually fine... very comfortable, right up until the point when she drove me back to the Volkswagen and then turned to me and asked, "OK, why did you really call me?"

I had no answer for her.

I mean, I can't say that I'd want to "get back together" with her, certainly not the way we were last summer. It was difficult and it brought out a side of me that I really didn't like much. I can quite honestly say that it wasn't that I was looking for sex, because I really wasn't. I wasn't looking to rehash what happened at the end between us, because that didn't happen.

I had no answer.

She was OK with that.

We sat and talked for several hours, and I think both of us figured out that the other had changed in some small but important ways. Normally, if the two reagents in a system remain the same, you can expect the same outcome, but in this case, there might perhaps be a change in the catalyst and thus, a change in the outcome we might expect.

I'm expecting nothing, but not ruling anything out. She was putting out lots of want-to-see-you-again waves, and I am perfectly OK with that.

Sometimes you can go home again, even if it's just to make sure the roof hasn't fallen in since you last checked.


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