Ah...

Sarah called me today.

Yeah, Sarah.

I was actually shaking and mumble-mouthed talking to her.

Why?

I try to remind myself: she was annoying, addled-headed, she was a scorekeeper, she doesn't own any good tools, she does passive-aggressive shit.

I also remember, though, that she was beautiful (by far, the most beautiful woman with whom I've ever had an extended relationship), she was forgiving, she was dedicated childfree, she loved sex, she loved my cats, she was sweet and friendly to everyone, and she loved the music I love.

And right now, I am horribly, terribly vulnerable.

Ah, fuck me.

I was still shaking when I hung up after talking with her. I may see her after New Year's.