Dangling

I should feel a lot more optimistic, and I just don't. Had a very nice, if slightly long, dinner with Louisa, and I just... don't... feel... the connection. It's not a physical thing -- she's attractive in a good way, and pleasant to be with, but talking just has a terrible halting quality to it much of the time. We didn't really get any momentum going until after dinner, something I actually commented on (gently) at the time.

But is it going to be like that every time? Talking to her on the phone is painfully awkward. Emails are terse but friendly. In person, it was as if both of us were choosing to let the silences dangle for their very lives until finally the other would chicken out and save it by saying something.

And yet, as we went back to her house, she pretty enthusiastically asked me to call her again, presumably after the holidays, since she'll be all over the East Coast for the next two weeks. I asked her if she was sure, and she said it again. We didn't kiss. I didn't ask.

And damn me, I probably will call her. I am just stupid enough to keep dating her until she tells me to stop. BTW, here's a new survey.