Euphoria, sneezing, and things I notice about women

I had an amazing dream last night, or rather, early this morning. It was the most euphoric experience I have ever had, and I have no adequate words to describe it. Just as the worst I've ever felt in my life have been instances in dreams, so too with this. I have never felt so wonderful in the waking world. I was able to keep myself from waking up for a while so that I could extend the dream, and would have stayed asleep all day if I'd been able to extend that feeling for that long.

Then I woke up when Marnie sneezed in my face. She and Bert sound a lot alike when they sneeze, sort of a "sssssszzzzzzzZZZZZZZIP!" sound like someone pulling the zipper on a suitcase really, really fast. Marnie rarely sneezes, whereas Bert hasn't gone a day without sneezing since he got here six years ago. He's just a naturally snorfly cat.

His sister is still on her self-imposed exile in the yard. I keep putting food out for Margaret, and she and Mr. Possum take turns eating it. I had to lecture Mr. Possum at length the other night about not eating Margaret's food, for here is merely a fat possum with a hyperactive pink nose, where she is a kitten. He was not convinced, and waddled to one side of the porch, grumbling.

It appears that a second date with Louisa is in the cards... I got a really nice email from her early this morning saying she really wanted to see me again, though wary me, I had to run it by a knowledgeable friend to see if it had that ring of sincerity or was just a cordial smoke screen. It passed that test, and I sent Louisa a note back asking her if she had any evenings free after work this week, since she is traveling somewhere this and next weekend.

Louisa:

• is tall
  
• does not eat peas or liver
  
• learned to drive on a tropical island
  
• has never been drunk
  
• can speak at least four languages, possibly five
  
• has one car which is pristine and one which is a complete disaster area
  
• likes pearls but not opal
  

Ladies, let that be a lesson to you: guys do, in fact, listen and observe.

This morning I was thinking about strange little things I've noticed about women over the years, stuff I noticed and/or asked about.

To a guy it seems counterintuitive, but most women put their skirt on first, then put the slip on. To guys, this would be like putting your pants on, then your underwear, but it makes some sense for women.

I've noticed many, many women who put their blouse on, particularly pullover types, and then put on roll-on antiperspirant. This, too, seems counterintuitive, like painting a house and then putting the primer on, but apparently the reason is, if you pull on a dark blouse after you apply antiperspirant, you're likely to get white powder marks on the blouse when you pull it down over your arms.

Most runs in pantyhose start at the back of the heel, because the inside of their dress shoes is rough and wears through the nylon at that point. Black pantyhose seem to run more readily than other colors, and no, it's not just because it's more visible on the black fabric.

You can tell who drives to work versus who takes the bus by looking at the back of their right heel. Women who drive in pumps will have a bunch of scuff marks on the back of the right heel from the floor of the car near the gas pedal, but not on the left heel.

Most women, most of the time, know when they've lost the back of an earring. Since this thing weighs a few grams, it's a remarkable feat of touch sensation.

Women shake hands by extending their hand palm downward, where guys do it by extending their palm perpendicular to the floor.

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My mother died thirty-seven years ago yesterday.