Cast your fate to the wind

I am puzzled by a couple of things. They're related, but distinct.

First, why is it that lifer government employees, the really un-fireable ones, the ones you'd think could flip the world off and do what's right instead of what's convenient, are the most timid people in the world of work? I mean, there's no real risk, they can't fire you, your retirement is all set, so why not take a shot at really making a difference and doing things right instead of doing some sort of CYA marathon until you retire?

Second, and maybe this is more what's getting me, is, why is it that older people -- I'll count from my age, which is 43, and work forward -- seem to be similarly timid? With relationships in recent times, it's always "let's take it really slow," and "let time pass," and all that sort of inch-by-inch stuff? Since we know perfection just doesn't exist, then why not take the time you otherwise would spend being timid and instead bust out and actually ENJOY the sensation of someone new?

Think about this: average life expectancy for someone born around 1962, which is when I was born, is around 70. A little less for guys, which I am, and a little more for women, whom I seek. So, if you're 43, as I am, your adult life is just about half over. Your overall life is more nearly 2/3 over, yes, but since I wasn't exactly trolling for babes at age four, I disregard everything before age 18.

When you're 18 or 20, you rush into everything because you sense that there's never enough time.

BUT THERE IS!

When you're in your 40s, the clock really IS ticking, and so what do some people do? "Take things slow," as if somehow they're entitled to a perfection that will never come, and thus anything less is to be avoided. They fear making a "mistake" (whatever that is) so much that instead of going out and experiencing the rush of joy you can get from running headlong after things, they sit on their asses in a cold, dark closet, afraid to do anything, lest they make a "mistake."

Better to be alone, these people think, than to risk being the least unhappy, as if they're "entitled" to perfect happiness or something.

I've always gotten along much better with women who said, "fuckit, let's go for it." I can think of great huge handfuls of such women, several of whom are still great friends of mine.

Of the timid, I can think of none of them that I even talk to any more.

Where's the factory that's producing more of those devil-may-care women, the ones who intend to race the clock... and maybe win?

Timid people: every day you spend creeping along "taking things slow" is a day without some new person making your life better. It's a day without learning, it's a day without sharing, it's a day without orgasm. It's a day ALONE.

And death is coming.

Cast your fate to the wind.