Change in the winds

No, I am less and less sure that Martha and I will meet. I think both of us sense that it's a now-or-never sort of situation, and that seems to cause her even more trepidation rather than the appropriate what-the-hell-why-not sort of reaction.

Because of her reservations, I have not made any reservations to go out there. If it happens some other time, fine. If it never happens, I am OK with that. I didn't even know she existed a year ago, so there's no sense getting too sad over what might have been. She has had all the control over that that she needed, and as I've said here many times, dating back to my marriage, I am not good with people who operate from a base of fear and worry, and even less good with people where I sense getting to know them is a process of overcoming those fears, not appealing to their hopes. It's an uphill battle that Melody showed me not only cannot be "won," it's also not worth fighting in the first place.

Fawn and I talked for a while last night... mostly logistical stuff (including her insistence that I not worry too much about my house -- she then went on and explained about the horrible floral-pink wallpaper in her own house) but also some fanciful things. The contrast between her and Martha could not be greater: both intelligent, attractive women with wisdom and age, but one seemingly set in her ways and a worrier, and one willing to take chances and fly a little.

I don't think I have to explain why the one appeals to me more than the other. If you are unsure, please go back and reread all of my 2004 entries.

Speaking of "2004 entries," I was amused to find that a major local paper had done an article on online dating and as part of it, focused on a DC professional woman and her experiences with the online scene, primarily Match.com. When they mentioned her name, I was amused to realize that she and I went out once in February, 2004, and that i was one of her very first dates. No, she didn't mention me as a horror story, though she mentioned a few. Now, for me, I have to say that if a smart, tall, attractive woman like that living in a yuppie-single-person area around DC has been out dating online for over a year and a half and has had no substantive relationship come out of that effort, she hasn't been trying. Or, perhaps, she's unrealistic in her expectations. My own interaction with her was that she was trying, but what she wanted was a truly impossible combination of things which she was unable to explain.

See also, "one date only."

I was tempted to email her and thank her for not citing our date (which was actually quite low-key and pleasant) as one of her horror stories.

She did have terrific legs.