Jeez, I hate him...

And no, this epsiode isn't about Avery, though after the strange emails I got from him these last couple of days, you might have guessed that. No, Avery's just another homeless unmedicated schizo who has a tenuous hold on reality, and now that my barn doesn't smell like dogcrap, he is to be pitied, not hated.

No, it's that ape in the White House. Nearly forty people get blown to bits in London, and a thousand more injured, and his smug shit-eating face is on the news, trying to somehow make parallels between bomb-making terrorists and the G8 mondoeconomic summit taking place in Scotland. "Oh, yeah, they're terrorists, while we instead seek to control the entire world through our endless money and corporate lawlessness."

The more I see Bush on television, the less I like television. I can't even stand to hear his asinine voice on the radio. He is the world's biggest tool.

I've been thinking more and more about the idea that the women who attract me aren't the women I'm best with. I hate to keep bringing Melody up as an example, and she's certainly not the only one, but she's a recent example you've perhaps read about here.

I think the same traits that made her powerfully attractive to me -- the skittish hyperintelligence, the quick mind, the precise life she lives -- are the same things that drove me nuts and in return, drove her nuts. Powerfully addictive (you really do get used to being around smart women to the point you can't be around anyone else -- try it some time but be sure and tell your friends where you're going and how they can rescue you if you go in too deep) but also powerfully... I don't know what.

Penny was the other side of that... I was always physically attracted to her, and she was amiable enough that I liked being around her most of the time. Where that fell apart was that I was making expectations of her that I just don't think she was up to meeting. I was probably wrong to make them... should have just enjoyed the things she was good at and not worried about the rest. I suspect the same situation occurred with Sarah recently, and I sort of regret it on that basis.

I expect a lot of people and feel out of sorts when they don't make the same expectations of me. People -- women, in particular -- don't seem to know what to do with the parts of me I think are valuable, and instead ask of me things that I think are pointless or counterproductive, and so I react badly.

I don't know.

In any case, I've been thinking more about the idea of being around someone that more closely matches the sort of women I've always got along with well rather than the ones I think I get along with, but really don't.

I've been talking to one such woman... she's a little younger than I am, and she expressed initial doubts we'd be a good match after she wrote to me on Match. Since she was so open and honest about saying that, I explained basically all of the above to her, about how maybe what one thinks is best and what's actually best for you are two different things, and it's worth trying to widen your standards.

Not "lower" them, "widen" them. I still want someone who's good at being herself and good at living her life, but no longer am I going to be fixated on the hyperintelligent, musically-talented Audrey-Hepburn-types that I've always thought I wanted.

Not that I'd refuse if one showed up, but I think the DC area is fresh out and nobody's delivering just now.