Here's a business opportunity for somebody

July is going to suck ass.

I am decidedly not looking forward to this reunion I'm DJing. Yes, it's my own 25th reunion, but that doesn't mean I'll be all that happy being there. This will be the first "major" reunion I'll be going to, solo. At the 15th and 20th, I was married, but I figured by now, at the 25th, and more than three years since Nancy left, I'd not still be doing this dating stuff. I'd have figured I'd have settled into a comfortable sort of relationship with someone who can handle the town I grew up in and the people I went to school with without requiring extensive therapy afterward.

Alas, of the three women I'm interested in, none of them are to a point where I could even consider asking them to go along. Theresa has two kids living with her, and that's already becoming a problem. There's this lawyer in DC who doesn't own a car. And there's Martha, who lives in San Francisco and is going to be in Vancouver shooting a commercial most of the month.

Fark.

So, I get to drive up there alone, visit the cows in Mansfield by myself, enjoy Pontillo's Pizza alone, and stand there in the DJ booth cueing up MP3s while other people dance with who brung ya.

There should be a service where you can hire an actress for the evening at reunions, so that your for classmates don't assume you're a complete loser just because you don't have a date for the evening. You know, you send the agency a couple of pages of background, and she (or he) can mingle with your people, chatting knowledgeably about your home, your work, your community, and about that time when you fell off the boat or accidentally dumped the gas grill into the pool. And then you pay them and you can go home.

In Japan, don't they have rental families you can hire for company functions like this?

Since I haven't been having much sex, I have had a great deal of time to improve my play on the Playstation Portable. This morning, I kicked Tiger Woods' ass in match play, then at lunch edged out Arnold Palmer.

This was not my goal for the summer, OK?