Still abundantly clueless

You know, since putting my profile back up on Match, I have gotten a number of emails and winks... what I am trying to figure out is why I seem to attract illiterate women. They appear to be unable to read, mostly because they appear to completely ignore most of the things I wrote in the profile.

Either that, or maybe I've gotten jaded and read too much into things. You sort of have to be from the Baltimore area to fully understand, but when you get a wink from a woman in Essex who describes herself as "heavy-set" and includes no picture, and whose income is under $35,000, the picture easily comes to mind of sweat pants, neck rolls and Mary Kay cosmetics brochures all over the living room.

Or this winner: "wants a man to treat me like the Goddess I am." Oh, yeah, break me off a piece o'DAT! Right away, sir!

Or how about this: 5-foot-eleven, "a few extra pounds," and reports "I never met a food I didn't like." The picture agrees.

And despite my best efforts, I get the determined-casual: "Like to go out and can dress up pretty good, just don't do it if I don't have to." Translation: sweat pants at every possible opportunity. I am not sure I'd want to see this woman's calves anyway. I think when they get to a certain stage, they are referred to as "veal."

I have been deluding myself. The supply of interesting women has not exactly been redoubling in the time I've been with Melody, and the supply of the clueless is still as abundant as ever.