Out there

Sometimes I worry me.

I just finished an entire container of pork fried rice. That was pretty much all I had to eat today, unless you count a small waffle I had before I left Penny's.

Low-carb... sucks.

"It's all about the lowcarb/hicarb bull-shit..."

In a completely unrelated vein, somebody tell me what the big attraction of new sex is about. I mean, really tell me. What does it mean to you? I ask, because I think I've lost the handle on that particular concept.

I feel like I want to have serious sex with someone new. But really, what am I looking for? Some new position? Some new sensation? Some new kink? Some new conversation while the semen soaks into the mattress cover?

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

And what, exactly, is it that I can't get with Penny?

I've been through it all... I mean, jeez, I'm forty-one years old, and if I wanted it, I could have had it by now, so is it just old habit that makes me feel like I want to fuck someone new?

I could get in the car and be in her bed in under an hour. But somehow the lure is "something out there." I no longer even understand why.

Somebody tell me.